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Life Q&A

  1. Is Ginger your real/full name or is it short for something? Where did it come from?
    • It’s my full, birth given name. I was named after my mom’s best friend who died when they were in college. Her full name was Jennifer, but they called her Ginger so, that’s what I got. I was never called Jennifer growing up though. Only Ginger or Ginny.
  2. Middle Name?
    • Elizabeth
  3. Nick Names?
    • In high school my nick name was “Smurf” because I was short (which is even funnier now that I have blue hair), but no one really calls me that anymore. A few years ago, I had a boxing coach who would call me “Little Bit,” but other than that I just have a few friends that will call me “Ging” or “Gina” haha
  4. Birthday // Full Star Chart?
    • May 27, 1992. Sun in Gemini, moon in Aries, Scorpio ascending.
  5. Do you feel like your star chart is accurate?
    • I do, actually haha. I wouldn’t say that I put my whole faith in zodiac signs and what not, but I also don’t dismiss the fact that astrology and moon cycles could definitely have some kind of merit to them when it comes to human behavioral patterns. From my own perspective, I think the combination of Gemini and Aries explains a lot about my behavior and why I do things the way I do. I’m intelligent, passionate, driven, witty and I hate routine and fear commitment. I also try to make sure I pay attention to the negatives that come with each sign as well so, I know what to check myself for. My sign elements are air and fire and while that’s pretty much an unstoppable combination, it can also cause mass destruction if they go down a wrong path.
  6. What is your Myers-Briggs Personality?
    • INFP-T (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Prospecting, Turbulent)
  7. Where all have you lived?
    • 0-3yrs old I lived in Mississippi then 4-12 I lived in Oklahoma, 13-21 Mississipi, 21-22 Pennsylvania, 23-27 (present) Mississippi. One of these days I’ll finally be able to stay gone.
  8. Do you still want to move to Colorado?
    • I do. Either there or the Oregon/Washington/Northern California area. Somewhere cold, lush with forests or mountains. Just can’t afford it yet and won’t be able to for years, but I’m okay with that. I’ve started redecorating my house to make it feel more like the house I want to live in so that I can be as comfortable as possible while I am here. I just have to keep hustling.
  9. Did you play sports as a kid?
    • I started gymnastics around 4-5ish and also played soccer. My mom turned me into a gym rat though so, soccer didn’t last very long and I ended up just doing competitive gymnastics until I was around 9. Then we moved and I started competitive cheerleading that year and ended up doing that in combination with school cheerleading through high school and then got a full-ride for cheerleading my freshman year of college so, I did that for a year as well. I still have one cheerleading video on YouTube if you’re curious haha.
  10. Are you ever coming back to YouTube/creating internet video content again?
    • I might come back to YouTube, but with the way their monetizing is set up now, it’s almost not worth it. I do still plan on making video content in the future though with actual plot lines and things, I just don’t know which platform it’s going to be on. I’m ready to start making some real stuff.
  11. What is your diet?
    • I’m a vegetarian, but that’s about as in-depth as that goes haha. I don’t have a strict diet at all. I pretty much survive off pizza and fruit.
  12. Do you have anxiety about being relevant enough across social media platforms?
    • Ehh yes and no. It’s not necessarily about relevancy for myself as much as it is for my work. I don’t care if people know my face, just my name. I want people to recognize and enjoy my photos/videos/paintings. It’s kind of the reason why I’ve been pushing my socials so much lately. I cannot spend another year working for free and paying my own way to get there and feeding myself while there as well. I want my work to be relevant because I want to get hired by artists and I’m just not someone who reaches out to people to try and sell myself. I know that’s how most people do it and it works and that’s fine, but I just don’t like to do it that way. I don’t care if it takes me longer this way. I don’t ever want someone to feel obligated to hire me, I want them to see my work and WANT to hire me. I’d rather build a strong and trusting relationship with a few artists who like my work and consistently want to hire me vs just shooting a bunch of different artists whenever I’m at a festival. It’s why I’m so focused on growing my channels right now. Not because I want to be able to say I have a ton of followers, butttt the more followers I have, the more my activity goes up, which can lead to more networking, which could then potentially get my name and my photos out to artists who like my work enough to hire me or for enough people to see my paintings and want to purchase some of my art.
  13. Do you miss married life?
    • Not even in the slightest.
  14. If you found out your current life was a dream would you want to wake up?
    • No. If you asked me this question 10 years ago, I probably wouldn’t think twice about saying yes if it meant I might have a chance at a different reality, but I have put a lot of work into creating a life for myself that I love and I’m not ready to tap out yet. It’s definitely a struggle financially and I go without food more often than I would like, but I wouldn’t trade the people in my life and the path that I’m on for anything else.
  15. What are the healthiest and unhealthiest things you do on a regular basis?
    • The healthiest thing I do on a regular basis is probably staying active and on my feet as much as possible and I try to always make sure I’m drinking plenty of water (although I can definitely slack here too). The unhealthiest thing I do on a daily basis is probably my caffeine intake. I drink multiple cups of coffee and have at least one or two Red Bulls or Yerba Mates a day. I hope that one day my work will slow down enough that I don’t have to consume copious amounts of caffeine to stay alive, but for now that’s not the case. At least I’m aware of it though and I do try to monitor it since I also take Vyvanse.
  16. What are some of the biggest lesson you’ve learned over the years?
    • Pick your battles. Think before you react. Not everything needs/deserves a response. Not everyone cares about your opinion so, keep the less important ones to yourself especially if they are not going to benefit anyone. Never apologize for cutting toxic people out of your life. Trust no one. Keep your circle small. Don’t be naive. Think for yourself and question everything. The world is out to get you so, be prepared.
  17. What is your definition of maturity?
    • Genuinely caring about others, but also knowing when to put yourself first and when to put others first. Knowing when to walk away from something that isn’t good for you. Self-awareness. Acknowledging when you’re wrong and apologizing instead of becoming prideful and defensive. Keeping an open mind. Knowing when to stand up for something or someone. Being non-judgmental. Being responsible as well as dependable. Striving to be better than you were the day before. Continuing to learn new things just to expand your knowledge.
  18. What made you decide to go to your first festival?
    • One of my friends brought up Okeechobee to me because Kings of Leon were playing and I was finally getting out of my divorce rut and I had never been to one and wanted to go so, we did. Best decision I’ve ever made.
  19. What’s a daily activity you hate doing?
    • Showering haha. I don’t like being dirty at all, it just takes so much time haha. I shower until the hot water runs out and then I typically go into a full out 3 hour hygiene routine since I work from home, so it’s just a nuisance haha
  20. When did you realize that you loved the person you were becoming?
    • When I no longer needed others to.
  21. How do you stay inspired/motivated to create? // What is the main thing you pull inspiration from? // How do you come up with your ideas?
    • I always find this to be such an odd question because the answer is everything and nothing at the same time. I pull inspiration from everything around me and from my own personal experiences, but I never go directly to a source to try to pull inspiration form it. Inspiration can’t be forced. Everything just comes from my brain and it never shuts up so, my creative arsenal is usually boundless. It’s the actual application of that inspiration that sometimes gets put on the back burner, but I’m never not creating or working. Sometimes I have to force myself to go do other things that require me to be around other people so, I can have a temporary distraction from my own thoughts or it will just get exhausting.
  22. You’ve grown so much since your vine days, what inspired this in yourself? Or do you feel like the motivation was more external?
    • It was a little of both. Mainly outside influences making me check myself internally. When I was in high school, I gossiped a lot, but when I got on Vine, I got a taste of my own medicine. People said some of the most awful and disgusting things to me and I hated the way it made me feel. I also saw how others reacted to hateful comments and I saw they were calling people out for it and I didn’t want that to be me so, I had to make sure it wasn’t. It was a little bit of a rude awakening, but I am eternally grateful for it. I know most people won’t understand, but being on Vine and being an influencer made me realize that I had people watching my every move and it was now my job to make sure I was someone people wanted to follow. I didn’t want to be that mean girl anymore if I didn’t have to. I told myself the way to never get caught doing or saying something like that was to never do/say it. To never do/say it, I couldn’t just keep my thoughts to myself, I had to make sure I no longer thought that way in the first place so, I stopped. Growth isn’t just about doing the right thing, it’s about wanting to do the right thing.
  23. Do you ever think you’ll get into another serious relationship?
    • I would like to think so. I would love to know what it’s like to be in love. I just don’t value a relationship over my work so, for me to commit to a relationship with someone, it would have to add value to my life. It would have to be with someone who did not make me compromise and who I felt like I truly could not live without. I just haven’t found that person yet. I’ve had wonderful, non-committed flings, but not with anyone who’s wanted the same things out of life that I do or who has made me feel like they were my person.
  24. What is your main love language?
    • This is such a tricky one to dissect because all five of them are very important, but there isn’t necessarily one I favor over the others. It’s more about how each one is applied and how often certain ones are used. Physical Touch is something I want and also expect the most, but probably value the least because it’s the most basic and primal of the five. I feel like it’s something that should already come naturally from your partner. I’m a snuggle leach and if I’m with a partner (unless we are in public) I want them touching me pretty much the entire time we are together. I do not like being touched by strangers and I’m not a fan of PDA, but I can’t stand not being touched by someone I’m intimate with if we are in a private setting or just around close friends. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with Quality Time for me. I have a very busy schedule and I don’t get a lot of down time so, when I do give someone my time, it’s important to me that they value it and take advantage of having me to themselves because that’s what I’m going to do with them. Words of Affirmation are something that I personally don’t expect that often, but they are secretly what keep me going. I grew up in a household that kind of looked down on sharing feelings and was married to someone who almost never complimented me ever so, when someone verbally expresses that they find me attractive or that they enjoy spending time with me or think I’m funny or anything like that and I can feel it’s genuine, it really helps reassure me that, that person wants me in their presence. It’s very easy for me to get in my head and feel out of place or like my presence alone annoys others so, it’s comforting when someone shows me I’m just being paranoid. Receiving Gifts is something I’m not as big of a fan of when it’s done without meaning. I don’t demand gifts and I don’t tell people things I want because I don’t think anyone should feel obligated to get me anything, but when someone presents me with something small that they got because it reminded them of me or something that I can tell took thought, that means the world to me because it’s also something I like to do for others. Just knowing someone was even thinking about me in a positive manner is a really nice feeling to have. I’d take 10 small, meaningful gifts over 100 large extravagant gifts that had zero thought behind them. I just don’t value material possessions so, I don’t feel the need for fancy items just to have them, but knowing someone saw something small and it made them feel compelled to spend money on it for me, speaks volumes. Acts of Service are probably the real kicker for me though. They are something I never expect because they typically come from a place of selflessness. Not to say people aren’t selfless, I just don’t typically expect them to be. I control every single aspect of my life and I have zero help. I run my own business that I make very little money from, I have multiple outlets that I own and operate, I’ve been my own manager for the last 4-5 years, and I have a house and two dogs to take care of so, I never sleep and I barely have time to take care of myself so, when someone goes out of their way to do even the smallest task for me, it can very easily bring me to tears. When someone actually sees how exhausted and overwhelmed I am at all times and does even the simplest of things to help make just one task in my life a little bit easier, I never forget it. Acts of Service are what I expect the least, but value the most.
  25. If you could sculpt the perfect partner, what would they look like and what would their characteristics be?
    • Long, curly hair, light eyes, pretty smile with little facial hair if they are a man (freckles and dimples on a woman are a plus too) with a healthy, natural build (not too skinny, but also no abnormally large muscles). A creator of some sort or maybe just someone else in the entertainment industry, but they have to actually love their job and can’t just be in it for the money/fame/celebrity encounters. Someone who wants to use their platform to try and change the world for the better. I don’t think I would enjoy dating another photographer though. Too competitive. I want to be able to have my thing and I want them to have their thing. I would love if we eventually taught each other a little bit about both crafts, but there still needs to be a significant difference in what we do. Someone who knows what it feels like to build something from nothing and would get excited to show me their creation. It would also be great to be with someone who understands what it’s like to have no privacy and to have so many people watching you. Someone who understands the importance of my platforms and doesn’t make fun of me for taking them seriously. I need someone who is almost identical to me, personality wise. Opposites do not attract from my experience. But again, this is my dream person who most likely does not exist so, none of these qualities are just an absolute must. They are just what I would typically be attracted to.
  26. What do you think is the key to having a happy life?
    • Making the conscientious decision to have one and to not care what other people think about the way you live it. No one has to live your life, but you so, why do things that make you unhappy? Why feel ashamed for the things that make you happy as long as those things are not hurting/negatively affecting anyone? Live your life for you and only you.
  27. What is your go to healthy binge snack?
    • Fruit or nuts.
  28. What is your favorite quality or character trait about yourself?
    • My independence.
  29. Have you ever had cosmetic surgery?
    • Yupp. Nose job at 18 and boob job at 22. I’m not someone who is going to tell you, you need to change yourself, but I was also someone who was teased for my appearance so, I’m not one to procedure shame either.
  30. Top 3 places you want to visit before you die?
    • India, New Zealand, and Bali.
  31. Celebrity crush?
    • Blake Anderson (the actor not the athlete).
  32. Do you ever consider getting another dog?
    • Nooooooo. These two are enough! When they pass, I’m probably going to hold off on animals for a while so I don’t feel as guilty about traveling so often. I’d eventually love to have multiple lizards who just roam freely throughout my house.
  33. What do you want most out of life?
    • To not waste it and to make a difference somehow. Even if it’s just for one person, I want to be successful enough in my own career to have the means to be able to change that person’s life for the better.
  34. Do you make more or less from social media now than when you were married?
    • Ha I don’t make any money from social media anymore. Literally my only income right now comes from my paintings/prints. I basically pay to work as a photographer so, I have to hustle with my art to be able to afford my travel/food/lodging so I can go and photograph artists. Hopefully the new way I have the blog set up will start generating a little bit of revenue though.
  35. Why do you continue to stay in the public eye?
    • Haha asked as if I have another option… which I guess technically I do, but even if I stopped posting today and shut all of my social medias down, people would still pry. People want to know what you’re doing, why you left. When I was going through my divorce it was madness. It’s why I choose to be so open though and less private. The more reserved you are, the more people question your digression. They don’t view it as you wanting privacy, they think you’re hiding something. The second you give people the information they want to hear, they’ll usually leave you alone. For the most part at least. It’s also crucial for my work and networking if I want to have any chance of doing something worthwhile with my photography. Social media is no longer just for fun, it’s very much a business for me.
  36. How hard was it for you to make the lifestyle change of no meat and alcohol?
    • Alcohol has been and always will be a struggle. That’s a fight I find has gotten harder over time, not the other way around. Addiction is a never-ending battle. Meat has been kind of hard too. I started slipping up more towards the end of last year, so I made a new rule for myself this year where I allow myself to have 3 meals a month where I can eat meat. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than eating it all of the time and it helps keep the cravings at bay. I usually feel really gross and sluggish after I eat meat though so, that helps remind me not to fool with it as often.
  37. Would you ever have another alcoholic drink again?
    • No. At least I don’t ever plan to. I know some recovering alcoholics have drink coins that they give themselves as to only have one or two to keep the cravings away, but I don’t trust myself with that. I’ve tried the one drink thing in the past and it always led to a second and a third and then the bottle, so I stay clear all together. November 1st of 2019 will be two years without a drop of alcohol and that feels damn good. I’ve had dreams where I’ve slipped up and drank and the disappointment in myself I woke up with (even though it didn’t actually happen) was enough to remind me that alcohol isn’t something I want to ever welcome back into my life.
  38. What do you value most in friendship?
    • Authenticity. I will always want the best for my friends, so I prefer to surround myself with people who want the same for me.
  39. What job did you truly hate the most (besides photographing newborns) like from first job to now?
    • I actually didn’t hate photographing newborns at all. They were fairly easy to work with and during training we were given techniques to calm the babies and even how to help relieve them of painful gas so, I never struggled with babies thats were too fussy. I’d take newborns over senior portraits any day of the week, I just hated the company, Bella Baby. They asked wayyyy too much of you for next to no pay and I was again, pretty much paying to work. They basically wanted you to trick your way in the rooms to let you shoot and then wanted you to try and push a sale that same day. If I had just given birth, even as a photographer, pictures would be the last thing on my mind if I didn’t even know they were happening. It’s not like the moms had a sign up sheet, we just had to go to every single room with a 1-day old in it and weave around ways of them declining pictures. It just felt really intrusive and then people would get angry when they didn’t get their pictures for free so, I had to dip. I’ve honestly hated every job I’ve ever had (mainly retail). I knew from day one I was never going to successfully work under someone else. I don’t like being told what to do haha
  40. If you got to choose how you wanted to die, how would you choose to go?
    • By ingesting a substance that would let me go peacefully and quickly while I was also hooked up to a giant nitrous tank.
  41. What about EDM specifically attracts you?
    • Sound design and beat. Producers are who make the core music for your favorite songs and I feel like that often gets overlooked. People think EDM is just “beep-bop” music, but in reality it’s the basis of a song. Without producers you’d just have a capella. They set the entire tone for a song. My favorite or my go-to sub-genre is more downtempo/lo-fi tracks, but experimental bass music is also a huge love of mine.
  42. Are you going to finish your degree?
    • Nope. For me, school was a waste of time and money. I (personally) think the way college is set up in the US is such a joke. A degree to me means nothing. It doesn’t guarantee that you’re qualified for anything, it just means you paid tuition and could have easily scraped by (because that’s what I did and I’ve never failed a class). Those that really want to learn and want to be skilled in their profession, will. With access to the internet, the knowledge and education you can receive is infinite.
  43. Have you found yourself more fulfilled with your work since withdrawing from school?
    • Absolutely. I always felt like school was holding me back from the things I needed to be doing.
  44. Do your parents still support you financially?
    • No. They are divorced now. My brother is still financially dependent on my parents and my dad makes very little money so, I would never ask him for help. I also no longer have any kind of relationship with my mother so, I am completely on my own. All of that is really personal though and I’m not ready to discuss it yet.
  45. Something embarrassing about yourself?
    • My laugh is more of a cackle and it often leads me to snort occasionally and it’s just so incredibly unattractive hahahaha. It’s fine. I’m fine.
  46. What is your biggest fear in life?
    • Leaving this Earth before I’ve done what I need to do. Also, toilet snakes.
  47. What is the weirdest part of being a social media influencer?
    • Having strangers know more about my life than some of my friends haha. I’ve also had multiple people take pictures of my vehicle and send it to me to let me know they were near me or behind me in traffic and that’s always a little on the uncomfortable side. Not going to lie.
  48. You were very religious when I first started following you, what happened to that?
    • Ahh yes, the inevitable religion question haha. So, I’m an Agnostic Theist which means that I believe in some form of a higher power, I just don’t know what that power may be. I don’t have all of the answers and I no longer choose to blindly follow a man-made religion just because it’s what I’ve been told to do my entire life. I base my beliefs off what I know/see and question what I don’t. I’m very spiritual and I feel like the Earth itself is full of elemental magick so, I try to get my bearings by grounding myself and trying to connect to the earth and its creations. I was raised in a Christian household, was in the youth choir, went on mission trips, and went to private Christian schools. When I lived in Oklahoma, we went to church, but no one ever really discussed religion. I had no idea whether my friends were religious or believed in a god because no one brought it up. It wasn’t until we moved back to Mississippi that I felt like it was shoved down my throat everywhere I turned. Religion turned me into the worst kind of human ever and I have never been so happy to rid my life of something so mentally toxic and confusing. I had been told homosexuality was wrong and a choice, but also had friends admit they had tried to do everything in their power to “make themselves straight,” but that they just couldn’t and I believed them so, it made me question how this so called “creator” or “God” didn’t make any mistakes, but also made humans who’s natural instinct was to go against this God’s teachings. It was hard to process that and try to live with myself while being friends with people I was told were basically making it all up or even possibly mentally ill (because many Christians I’ve encountered believe that being gay or trans is a mental disorder). I didn’t believe in a lot of what I had been told growing up, but was too afraid to admit that because in the south you’re pretty much shunned if you aren’t religious. Even different religions turned their noses up at one another. Baptists were better than Catholics, Methodists were basically just Catholics who wanted their own group, Pentecostal people were weird (because dressing modestly and never cutting your hair somehow made them foreign beings) and don’t even get them started on Mormons… You couldn’t just be religious, you had to be the right kind of religious to fit in. This lead me to just accept what the majority of the people around me claimed. I was very much a follower when I was younger. I moved so often that all I really wanted were friends and that was hard enough to do always being the new kid so, the older I got, the fewer opinions I had. Getting outside of my hometown and traveling around the country made me realize that being religious wasn’t the norm for everyone and that the people that I met who were kind and non-judgmental and who I actually enjoyed being around the most, were people who were atheist or buddhist or people who believed in science (not to be confused with Scientology) and the people that I knew who were religious/Christians were people who had done and said some of the cruelest things to me throughout my life. They were people I didn’t like and didn’t want to be around, but when you’re a teenager you usually don’t want to be alone either so, that’s when I started hanging out with the people who claimed to be Christians, but who drank every weekend, were losing their virginities at 13 and 14, smoking weed, doing other misc. drugs, etc. Being around people who were overly religious made my skin crawl because it felt so forced and cult-like. The day I finally said it out loud that I wasn’t a Christian, I felt the biggest weight being lifted off my chest. I’ve never believed in the Bible and I questioned everything I was ever taught about it. Why are there so many different versions? Why are some people’s interpretations different? Why do some people say ignore the Old Testament and others say you have to believe in the whole Bible? Why aren’t we allowed to love whoever we want? How can loving someone of the same sex even be considered wrong? Why am I not allowed to believe in anything else that I can actually see? Why are other religions of the world wrong, but mine is the only one that’s right? What if people were never taught about Christianity, though… do they still go to hell? How did two white people populate an entire earth (without acts of pedophilia and incest) that consists of 3-4 major races? None of it made any sense to me. I remember being in the 6thgrade and my Bible teacher telling us that zodiac signs were Satanic and I was instantly annoyed. Now granted, I don’t know how much I believe in zodiac signs, but to say they are Satanic is basically admitting you’re a religion teacher who doesn’t actually know about religion because Astrology has no significant correlation to Satanism. Nothing I was ever taught about Christianity ever felt right and no one around me ever exemplified true Christian behavior so, it was all very confusing to me. From my experience, the teaching of Christianity in the South isn’t taught out of love, but force which makes you feel like you aren’t allowed to believe in anything else. I remember being at a sleep over in middle school and we were talking about god and religion and what not and I asked the question of “Yeah, but do you guys ever wonder if maybe god isn’t real?” This was followed by completely blank stares so I had to add “I mean of course I believe, but haven’t you ever just wondered?” It was like I had asked them if they enjoyed killing puppies for fun. This was followed by the ever so popular “my parents told me it’s true so it has to be true” type responses, so I just dropped it. I feared complete and total isolation if I questioned being religious, so I just went along with it for years. I was one of those people that engulfed myself in religious activity and hung out at church on Wednesday nights for fun because I was in such denial of my beliefs. I began looking down on those that were doing things I was told were “wrong” to the point that passing judgement became second nature. I never really thought anything of it though, because no one ever corrected me or told me to shut up, they just chimed right in with me or laughed along. I personally feel like Christianity belittles women as well. Most importantly though, like I mentioned above, the most hurtful things that have ever been done/said to me (including people telling me to go kill myself) have all been at the hands and mouths of people who claim to be “Christians” and the things that they did weren’t even remotely close to being “godly,” but they didn’t seem to mind. As long as they asked for forgiveness each time they did something terrible, they were in the clear. None of them ever thought to actually be better people, just to be sneakier about their transgressions. This is the kind of mentality the people around me had and I had to get away. You don’t have to have religion to have morals. I also in no way think this of all Christians or religious people, this is just from my personal experience in the area I was in. One of my very good friends is very religious, but she’s also super quirky and fun and accepting of everyone. She is someone who exudes positivity, love and acceptance and she is what I believe a true Christian should be and I’m truly lucky to have her in my life. Hopefully that was enough to clear that up haha. I know that was a lot, but I wanted to be thorough with this one.
  49. Who is your biggest idol?
    • Lady GaGa. She was the weirdness that I held onto as a teen and I felt like I’ve grown up with her over the years. She is so incredibly talented with the most beautiful mind and outlook on life. Everything she does pushes boundaries while she still seems to hold on to her humility. She is the kind of soul I aspire to be like.
  50. Do you think you and your ex were in love/have you ever been in love?
    • No and no. Casey and I loved each other as people, but we weren’t in love. I’ve only been in one long-term relationship (with Casey) and other than him I had one other guy through high school and college I was on and off with (and have still remained friends with), but I was never in love with him either so, no, I still don’t know what it feels like to be in love with someone, romantically.
  51. What gives you your biggest thrill?
    • Creating. Making art from scratch and then looking at the before & after or watching the playback of the final product is so rewarding. Having the knowledge and ability to create something from start to finish is unlike any other feeling to me.
  52. What is a characteristic about someone that immediately makes you feel like you are falling for them?
    • Passion. Someone who I can tell genuinely cares about the world and other people and whose main driving force is to help others. Someone who just wants to try and help make the world a better place.
  53. What is a guilty pleasure show that you constantly go back to?
    • Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
  54. What makes you happy?
    • Making other people happy. And no, I don’t mean that in a “look at me I’m such a good person” way, because my reason for enjoying it is mostly selfish. I like when people like me, as do most people I assume, but the look a person gives you when you have done something for them or given them something that is unique or that they appreciate or really wanted or that is meaningful to them in some way, just makes me feel good. It’s that little pat on the back that says “yeah, you did that. Good for you.” That’s the kind of stuff you want to be remembered for right? Being there for your friends and being the friend that they know they can count on or at the very least, one they associate with happiness and joy. It’s not something you can fake though so, that’s what’s makes it so rewarding. Knowing you can genuinely care for your friends that deeply feels good. I love knowing that I have friends that I love that much and that I know I don’t have to question whether they feel the same for me because they prove it all the time. I truly don’t deserve the people in my life, but I love knowing that they are there so, the least I can do is try to bring a little bit of joy into the lives of those same people who have been there for me. I like when people know that I pay attention to them. Knowing I did something for someone that took thought and watching their face light up with appreciation not only makes me feel good, but it also reassures me that they know that I care. Anyone can say they care about you, but you really find out who your friends are when they actually show you they care with their actions. Actions will always speak louder than words. If you’re going to talk about it, be about it. I also think putting a little effort into something and showing someone you care has the potential to create a positive ripple effect. Then they might feel compelled to do something good for someone else and so on and so forth. Knowing you’re putting positivity out into such a negative world and creating that train of positive action is just a really good feeling. Plain and simple.
  55. What do you think happens when we die?
    • I honestly don’t think anything happens. At least I hope that’s the case. My hope would be that when we die, we are finally laid to rest and that’s it. Lights out. No more worry, or stress, or hardships, just peace. If that’s not the case though, I guess in a way I could kind of believe in reincarnation to an extent. When we die, it could just be our physical vessel that is laid to rest and our souls could continue on and the type of person you were in your past life determines the kind of new vessel your soul will be placed in, in your new life. Still hoping for the former, though.
  56. What is the strangest habit you have?
    • I clean my nostrils out with q-tips. When I had my rhinoplasty done, I couldn’t blow my nose while it was healing so I had to use q-tips to clean it out. I felt like I was able to clean my nostrils out better this way, so it just stuck. My ex used to think it was the strangest thing, but I just feel so cleannnnnn that way! Haha
  57. What advice do you have for others trying to find themselves?
    • One of the biggest things I struggled with was distinguishing my thoughts and feelings from the ones I had been told to think and feel. When I found myself thinking something super negative I’d stop and ask myself “wait, why do I think this?” and then I would analyze the situation a little further and ask myself again, “is this really what I think about this person/situation or is this what I’ve been taught to think?” That approach is what started the transformation for me. Once I realized most of the thoughts in my head didn’t belong to me, I was able to start dissecting them so I could think the way I wanted to and then begin living my life accordingly. You’re going to lose a lot of people doing this and some of those people may really surprise you, but just know that you are doing it to better yourself and the people that matter will always be there for you. The people you lose will be the ones who liked the fake version of you. Even if you lose everyone, know they will easily be replaceable with people who will genuinely love you for you. The real you.
  58. You used to live a fancy life and bought expensive items. Are you humbled by that now?// What turned you from being so materialistic into being so “free?”
    • I lived the life I thought people wanted to watch. I grew up going to private schools, surrounded by rich kids, so when I really started making money on Vine, I thought “That’s who I need to be. That’s what gets attention.” I started out watching people like GiGi Gorgeous on Youtube, and though I love her transformation, I don’t love the materialistic example she sets. I saw her flaunting designer bags and shoes in her monthly favorites videos so I literally started dropping thousands of dollars on a shoes and bags and all kinds of dumb material items so, I could include them in my videos as well. Obviously, no one forced me to do any of these things, but I sought envy instead of relatability. After I got divorced and the Vine money stopped coming in, I was broke, didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, and had to figure out how to start over. Being in the festival environment where material possessions practically meant nothing and people preferred to support smaller artists who hand made their items instead of mass producing them, opened me up to a much more humble lifestyle. I do still have one Louis Vuitton shoulder bag and traveling duffle because they were gifts, but they are also made well. I had 3 other LV bags I got rid of, but I did want to keep these two, especially my travel bag, because they will last me a lifetime. My zipper jammed on my shoulder bag after having it for only a year and when I took it in to have it repaired, they told me nothing was stuck in the zipper and that it had just come undone and that it wasn’t my fault so, instead of fixing it, they ended up mailing me a brand-new bag. THAT is excellent customer service haha. I find these bags are great investments if you’re someone that needs durability, so I chose to keep two. I am aware that it is a leather bag. I also have leather seats in my car. I am trying to be much more conscious of animal products, but again these were gifts and were given to me years ago. I JUST became a vegetarian last year, so baby steps.
  59. What’s something you wish people knew about you or understood better?
    • For starters, that if you don’t know me personally, you probably don’t know me at all. That goes for anyone on the internet as well. You see a sliverrrr of who we are and most people only show you their highlights. I feel like on social media I can also come off very headstrong or opinionated and sometimes even a little bitchy or like a know-it-all, but it’s never my intention. I’m instinctively a problem solver and I just don’t think certain behaviors that are known to be wrong or inappropriate should go uncorrected so, when I see something I think should be addressed, I address it. Especially if it affects me or someone around me directly. I get very passionate about those. I’m very blunt and sometimes I don’t mean to be, but my connection to empathy tends to get lost if I have a hard time understanding how people can have so little common sense or be so unaware of their own self in certain situations.
  60. Why did you become an esthetician if you didn’t love it?
    • I originally did it to educate myself on what I was discussing on YouTube. I wanted to have an authentic channel with REAL skincare advice because I have struggled with problematic skin my whole life and wanted to be able to help those that dealt with the same thing. Unfortunately, my divorce started happening while I was still in school and then I ended up falling off YouTube while that was going on so, my channel never grew the way I had intended. Because I didn’t really know what else to do, I tried to work as an esthetician while I was going back to school and it just wasn’t what I expected. I wanted to help people who really struggled with acne or imperfect skin because I knew how self-conscious it could make a person, but I ended up with mostly wax clients (I was the only one in my area doing Brazilians) so, I just felt very unfulfilled. I wasn’t helping anyone. I needed to do more. I didn’t know that I didn’t love it until after the fact.
  61. What is the meaning of life?
    • I don’t think there is one to be honest. Not a definite one at least. I feel for the most part we are supposed to find something we are passionate about so, we can turn that into a career. Loving what you do usually guarantees it will be done efficiently and with passion. Then once you learn how to make money from that, work towards setting yourself up for a happy and healthy life living modestly and once you’ve done that comfortably, you continue to work to help out your family, friends, and causes. That should be the general outline in my opinion. I think we’re told that we have to find the meaning of life to scare us. This way we end up spending our lives searching for an answer that may or may not be there, instead of actually living the life we’ve been given. Who cares what is out there when we’re gone? That doesn’t affect us right now and you surely aren’t going to become a good person overnight if you haven’t been one in the past. Stop worrying about the meaning of life and focus on building the best life for yourself while you’re here. As long as you are striving to be the best you can be, being kind to others, and being kind to our planet, you shouldn’t need to worry about what the meaning of life is. Just take the one life that you have been given and make something of it. You are the only one holding yourself back, so make it the absolute best it can possibly be. We aren’t here to just exist, but to live. That should be your meaning to life. Living.
  62. Did you ever get scared that your art and photography might not take off even though it’s something you loved?
    • Of course. I think every artist has that fear. I just told myself there couldn’t possibly be a way for me to fail if I continued to work hard and learned new things to help me improve. As long as I kept educating myself about my equipment and never settling with my ability, I would/will be fine. I hope haha
  63. Best way to help yourself stay positive in day to day life or when you’re going through a dark time?
    • I just have to remind myself that it’s only temporary, I WILL get through it, and I WILL be fine. Usually a festival or activity I enjoy will pull me out of a rut.
  64. What are you most proud of?
    • My change/growth. I know there are a ton of people who don’t agree with my lifestyle, but those are also the people that I needed to get away from. I have to give myself a little credit for a second because it has taken major strength to do some of the things I’ve had to do. I’ve cut people off without looking back, but I’ve also had to admit to people some pretty embarrassing and shameful things I had done and said. Granted, I wouldn’t have had to do any of that had I not been such a bitter person growing up, but it felt good to no longer live with those secrets. Now, I just try to wake up every day and ask myself how I can do my part to help the world and that is a thought that would have never crossed my mind in 100 years had I not made this change. I was very selfish. Still am to be honest, but now I know when it’s okay to be selfish and when it’s not.
  65. What’s your favorite thing about festivals?
    • Getting to see my friends. My main crew is split between Florida, Mississippi, and Illinois so we only ever get to see each other at festivals or Bassnectar events. I’ve also made so many new friends and have connected with people from all over the country so, it’s really great when I get to link up with them at festivals as well!
  66. Are you genuinely happy with where you are right now?
    • I’ve honestly never been happier and didn’t think I would ever get to this point.
  67. What is your take on the legalization of drugs and sex work?
    • I’m here for both. Full drug legalization and needle exchange programs have proven to drastically reduce both overdoses and the transmission of STDs. Addicts aren’t evil people, they just need help. Not everyone becomes an addict because they want to avoid responsibilities and just get high all of the time. Most people turn to substance abuse to get away from the terrible things going on in their life. Some just never make their way back. Obviously, you’re going to find those people that don’t want to be helped, but there are some people who do want the help, but maybe can’t afford rehab. Needle exchange programs typically try and help people get off drugs as well. Addicts expect people to belittle them and to look down on them so, why would they want to change? What kind of motivation is that? What’s the point of getting clean if people are always going to label you as a junkie? But when you start treating those people like actual human beings and showing them a little compassion, it might just make them feel a little less like the world is out to get them and that may just give them the motivation to want to do/be better and maybe even get clean. I also have no idea why porn is legal, but prostitution is not. I love porn. Porn is awesome and I think sex work is a necessary field for a functioning society and I believe that the stigma around it is annoying and old. Sex work is nothing more than another type of service at the end of the day. I find it so strange when people get mad at their partners for watching porn. Porn never takes my feelings away from another person, it’s just fun to explore while you explore yourself. Sometimes it’s honestly only watched because it can get the job done quicker. Properly run brothels have also proven to significantly lower the percentage of sexual assault and the contraction of STDs, including HIV (Source). Not only does legal sex work create more jobs, but it keeps people safer. It’s also a wonderful service to have for those who may not be societies ideal standard of “attractive.” Just because you’re getting laid, doesn’t mean everyone else is. You can’t help the way you were born. Everyone deserves to be loved and at the very least, they deserve to get laid. Sex is a basic human need. Pent up sexual aggression is a very real thing. Having a place where someone can discreetly go and enjoy themselves with another person, even if they have to pay for it, shouldn’t be a big deal. As long as the workers are of age and there willingly, I don’t see a problem at all. I think it’s more of a crime to keep that from people. Plus, keeping sex workers in a place like a brothel where they are safe, have regular STD screenings, and can keep record of their clients and who to stay away from/caused trouble, could have an explosion of positive outcomes. If people are worried that this will lead to their spouses being more enticed to cheat, then they are in denial of the fact that they should probably find a new spouse. That’s not the brothel’s fault. Just because you don’t agree with someone paying for sex, doesn’t mean others don’t. Prostitution will always be around. Drug use will always be around. So why not try to create a world where you can keep people safer? Wouldn’t you feel better knowing that if your s/o ever cheated, it could be with a legal and clean prostitute (because let’s face it, it happens way more than people want to admit) rather than waking up one day with herpes because he/she had to go get it illegally from someone who may or may not be tested? I mean I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be clean, than divorced with a new, incurable STD. People that want to cheat are going to cheat whether sex work is legal or not, so why not protect ourselves if that were to ever happen? When topics like this are brought up, you have to stop thinking about just yourself and your beliefs and look at the bigger picture.
  68. Do you believe in aliens?
    • I definitely don’t believe that humans are the only life form out there. If anything I think we could easily be a science experiment of a greater being/s.
  69. Advice for people trying to cut toxic people/relationships out of their lives?
    • Don’t think twice. You already have the thought in your head and that should be your only indication that it’s time for them to go. Don’t overthink it. You can give them an explanation if you want to, but don’t feel obligated to.
  70. What’s your take on racism in the US?
    • It’s very real, it’s very prominent, it’s a HUGE problem in the south that needs to be fixed. Anyone that disagrees is either sheltered or in denial. It’s not something to be swept under the rug. It needs to be addressed and eradicated, ASAP.
  71. How are you able to connect to so many different people/topics/walks of life?
    • Ha well, lets see… I’m only 27 years old and I got divorced before my parents did, but then I had to go through their divorce as an adult, I had a rough childhood, I live alone, I have a passion for animals, nature, and conserving the planet, I’m my own boss, I have a career that I bust my ass for and very few people appreciate or take seriously, I’m in recovery for alcohol addiction, but still advocate for marijuana and psychedelics, I struggled with eating disorders for over a decade, but I’ve also been unhealthy, overweight and depressed and found my way out of that, I’ve self-harmed and had suicidal thoughts and have lost friends to suicide, but was able to find the beauty in life that keeps me going, I was once religious and now I’m not, I’ve been the true definition of a mean girl, but came to my senses, I went from being very wealthy to being completely broke, I’m almost always in debt, but I also work ungodly hours to dig myself out of that financial hole (even if it’s only temporary), I’m educated, but don’t have a degree, but I also am a licensed esthetician, I’ve traveled to many places, but also not enough places, I’ve worked in retail, beauty, and the music/entertainment industry, and I have thousands of people watching my every move, everyday and I’ve done all of it mostly on my own so, I’ve pretty much just been through it and have many different perspectives on life. It makes it much easier not to judge others and to try and relate to them, though so, for that I am thankful. Having insight to so many different hardships and how to overcome them helps me to try and help others who may be going through some of the same things I went through.
  72. Do you not enjoy being in front of the camera at all or do you just love being behind it more?
    • I just enjoy being behind it more. I’m still admittedly fairly insecure about my appearance so, it makes it hard to want to be. Especially since I have so many people who can judge what I put out. I also typically have to do everything camera wise by myself and I just suck at getting myself in focus when I can’t see my screen haha
  73. What is the main reason why you don’t want kids?
    • To be honest, I think it’s selfish to want to bring a child into this world in its current state. No offense to anyone who wants to start a family, I just couldn’t. I chose to give up having a family for a very specific reason, which is why it can be really infuriating at times when people say I will change my mind. I don’t want to change my mind and I don’t want anyone to try and sway my decision because I know it wouldn’t be hard to do. If I find someone who I truly feel like I cannot live without, it’s going to take everything in me not to want to create life with that person. Having your own little alien growing inside of you has be the most magical and unreal feeling in the world. I get major pregnancy envy when I’m around pregnant women because I want to know what that feels like and I know that I never will. The part I can’t get on board with is birth. It terrifies me. I don’t want to be cut or ripped open, period. Giving birth is just not something I ever want to do. Too many potential complications. Then once the evacuation process has been completed, I would then be responsible for this fragile, helpless little creature for 18+ years. My child would be doomed to this awful world and knowing I couldn’t protect it every second of every day, would drive me insane. I would be that mom homeschooling her kids in a bomb shelter. I just can’t do it. I don’t have the mental strength to be a mother. Kids weren’t ever something I thought about or looked forward to so, I use that to remind myself that I shouldn’t have something just because I can if it’s not something I really want. Especially when there are so many kids in foster care. Referring back to the selfish part, I couldn’t live with myself knowing I created another life on our already overpopulated planet when there are so many kids who will never have parents of their own (again, I am not trying to offend anyone who has kids or wants them. This is just my personal stance for me and only me). Not to mention taking time off for maternity leave would set me so far back in my work and that would make me ill. I don’t want anything that would take me away from my job or visa versa. I don’t want to live with any resentment towards my own kid and if I did continue my work, I would be gone most the time and I don’t want to be a half-ass parent who is only around every now and then. I don’t want to “have it all.” Having children is a complete lifestyle change and it is one of the biggest responsibilities a human will ever have. I’m never going to want that kind of responsibility and I honestly don’t want something I love that much. When you love something that you can’t protect 24/7 you risk losing it and I don’t know that I would have the strength to continue if that ever happened. Being old enough to have and enjoy sex does not make a person responsible enough to have a child. Kids are not objects and they should NEVER be viewed as a consequence for a mistake. If you do not feel you are responsible enough to have a child, then don’t. Tell everyone that is chirping in your ear about having children to shut up and let you live your life the way you want to, childless. You should think very long and hard before you decide to have a child. Children do not fix relationships, they are not to be created because you feel like it’s “what you’re supposed to do next,” they will not give you a purpose in life if you do not already have one, and they are not created for adults to live vicariously through. They are not for anyone to control. Children should only be had by those who can support them, devote their time to them, and love them unconditionally no matter what or who they grow up to be and love. Children should not have to suffer just because they were born into an unfit life/situation. If I were to have a child, we would both suffer and that isn’t fair to either of us. I want to spend my life working my ass off to make a decent living, without dependents so, I can hopefully put that money towards helping those who need it. Those without families of their own. I was put here to create art and help people and I’m either going to do that successfully or die trying. Having a biological child would defeat that purpose. I love babies, but I am not someone who deserves to have one or who should have one with my lifestyle.
  74. What is your favorite part of having the following you have?
    • Connecting. There are days where sometimes getting online (mainly Twitter haha) and just talking to you guys and interacting with you is the only thing that gets me through the day. You guys have all been my biggest support system and have given me the courage to go on and to be the person that I want to be. I don’t know that I would have ever found this path if I didn’t have you guys cheering me on the whole way, so thank you. For everything.
  75. Are you willing to meet any of your fans?
    • I don’t like the word fans because I don’t think I’m someone who should have “fans.” I’m no celebrity, so I just like to refer to you guys as followers/supporters because that’s what you do. You follow my life and my work and you continuously support me. And to answer your question, of course! I am not one of those big people that goes on tour or anything though so, I always try to announce when I travel or what festival I will be at so that if people want to do a meetup, they can reach out to me beforehand and we can make an arrangement. I do love my privacy, but at the same time I love meeting you guys. If anything just to thank you guys for being the reason I have the platform I have. Never be afraid to come say hi to me. I’m pretty sure at Bonnaroo we sat in a group for at least an hour just talking. I loved it! I will never turn you down for a picture or a conversation unless I am working and have somewhere to be.

WHEW. That was a lot, but we all have to come from somewhere. Hopefully this gave you guys a little deeper look into why I am the way that I am haha

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